It's been 4 years of trying to get pregnant. One year of fertility treatments. Countless BFN. And now my husband gets diagnosed with testicular cancer. I'm so worried about him....and our lack of baby making skills. He had surgery to remove the offending jewel and now might need chemo and radiation. And still being sad about our lack of baby making success, I feel selfish and like a horrible wife. I try SO hard to be happy for all these positive glow announcement lovelies. It's getting harder and harder. I just want my husband to be healthy and I just want a BFP. Some people make it look so easy. I'm over here like. 😭😭😭. Very close to cracking. Some days it's very hard to see God's plan.