Future Monster-In Law???

Question

So my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 and a half years and we both still live at home. I usually stay a couple nights a week at his place where he lives with his parents. My boyfriend and I just came back from vacation in Disney and I saw that his mom packed all my stuff up and put it in a plastic garbage bag. My boyfriend said it was just her moving stuff around so I put my clothes back in his drawer (just two sets of pjs) and I came back today and saw my stuff was in a garbage bag again. I’ve never had this problem before. What should I do? I feel so unwelcomed and uncomfortable. I don’t understand where all of this is coming from seeing as I’ve been around for 3 and a half years... I’ve been dying for my boyfriend to move out and get a place with me but he’s convinced that his parents are going to give him the house. He’s 25 and I’m going to be 23 this summer. I just don’t know what to do...

Answer

I would have your boyfriend talk to his mom. You’re calling him your boyfriend so no engagement yet- maybe she’s not comfortable with you staying over. It could easily be she put up with it but wasn’t happy about it so once you left she took matters into her own hands. Figure out why she’s doing that. In the meantime just go home. It’s not life or death to stay together. It’s nice of course but until this gets resolved put a pin on the sleepovers.

Answer

I never brought boyfriends over but my brother brings his girlfriend to my parents home and they do not like it. My mom says her home is not a hotel and she cannot stand when his girlfriend comes over and doesn’t make the bed or clean up my brothers room. When I would visit my boyfriend when he would come home from working overseas and stay at his parents I would make the bed, clean up, take the dirty clothes/ sheets to the washroom and offer to wash them and bring any trash down. I would fold his clothes and put them away. She never treated me ugly or anything. I would always take my overnight bag and I didn’t leave any of my stuff there.

Answer

That's such an invasion of space. Whether your parents help you or not. Going into a 20 somethings personal space and bagging shit up or moving it is disrespectful and if your bf isn't going to say anything it sounds like hes a mamas boy and doesnt wanna move out. He likes being taken care of.

Answer

So does she go in his dresser and take your clothes out to put in a bag or are you leaving it all over his room?

Answer

I would sit down and talk to your boyfriend. He needs to talk with his mother and see what is wrong. It might be she’s uncomfortable with the situation and you leaving your items at their house might make them feel like you are living thereZ regardless of his age some parents just don’t feel comfortable with their kids having sleepovers under their roof. If that is the reason then you and your boyfriend should talk about getting a place to rent together and capping the sleepovers until then. Then you and his mother could go get your nails done or whatever and mend a new full relationship. A positive one.

Answer

That’s very bizarre. Why is she even going in her adult son’s dresser drawers? It’s definitely important for your boyfriend to talk to his mom about what’s going on if you’re unable to ask her yourself. That’s a very childish behavior for any adult to have and I don’t even know how I would deal with my MIL being that passive aggressive. Obviously no one responding knows what you’re like as a houseguest or other factors that could come into play. But clearly you and MIL need to bond/heal the relationship or stay away from one another.

Answer

Maybe she wants him to move out as well? I’m just saying love my children oh so dearly and if they needed some where to live they would be welcomed home buuuut if they had the means to I would want them to have their own place st that age? 
But regardless why not just ask her what’s up?

Answer

Maybe that’s a sign they want you both out.. I moved out at 17 and came back at 23 for a few months.. it was horrible. We got along but it was so weird being 23 at home, having my boyfriend over sucked even though my mom loves him...
He should talk to her! Maybe she is saying gfto and take your girl with you.

Answer

If you’ve got clothes in a drawer and what not, it’s like you’ve made yourself at home and moved in. Take your stuff home. Your bf is sitting there waiting on his parents to just give him a house....what’s his problem?  Houses don’t grow on trees. I’d want a man who wanted to get his own stuff, not wait on his parents to die so he can inherit their house or wait for them to just sign the deed over to him. I’m a parent and that’s just not something I’d do. I want my kids to be able to support themselves. He’s not only not supporting himself, he’s half way moved you in too. If you want to live together, find your own place. 
I’d also be skeptical of what your bf is telling you, because his Mom isn’t putting your clothes in a bag for no reason. She’s talked to him about it and he’s not being forthcoming with you. I’d stay at my own home for a while.

Answer

This might be the uncommon opinion but... get your own place. She might think that you're disrespectful for staying there without being married. She just might not like it and it's not personal. I bet she said something to her son. Plus she might be making it clear to him that he needs to move out. If you're under her roof, it's her rules. I hope that he's helping with the rent/ mortgage, food and utilities... When you have your own place you can do whatever you like.

Future Monster-In Law???

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products