I’m staring at the very real possibility of my 3rd loss in a row. It’s killing me. I feel like a failure and have no hope left. My bf decided he’s done and doesn’t want to try anymore. I feel like the one thing I have left to look forward to (giving birth to another baby) is being ripped away from me and it’s screwing with my head. I feel defeated. So many people are like well you have 4 kids be thankful. Easy for them to say. Yes I have 4 children but I also have 3 (potentially 4) angels that I never got to meet. I need my babies.

With my 3 previous losses I never got to see anything via ultrasound. My first two they couldn’t see anything and my third was a missed miscarriage and the ER wouldn’t show me the monitor. This time I got to see my angel with no heartbeat. I find it very unlikely that anything good will happen as it’s not adding up. I know when I ovulated and had progesterone test to confirm it a week later. Idk if seeing my baby with no heartbeat was a good thing or if it’ll screw with my head.