Okay guys help a girl out

1) how do you not chicken out everytime someone tries to kiss you (it's not that I don't want to, I DO want to). Any advice/tips?

2) is this situation maybe code for I want you to be my fuck buddy?

Storytime: so we knew we gonna do something Friday but not what so it started at his place and we talked for like 2 hours and I had a couple drinks and then we decided to go downtown cause drinks were 1/2 off and stayed there until like midnight & then we came back to his apartment and decided to watch catfish (lmao) & the tv was in his room so I was like greattttt this could go one of two ways. Anyways we were just laying there and he kinda kept looking at me and I'm like damn I know that look & he kinda pulled me into his lap & he even asked if it was okay if we, like, made out, I guess and I didn't say anything so he kissed my neck and I about fucking melted because that is my SPOT and he was like "no? That's okay." And I died inside like HOW FUCKING EMBARRASSING. So I kind of backed off and we watched a couple of shows & then I just asked if I could get closer (smooth move Jewel) or if that would bug him cause I thought I made it worse but he was like, yeah of course so we just ended up like, snuggling until 3. 😂 But I'm like kicking myself because I'm still a virgin to that shit I'm not even kidding.

But he also kept contradicting himself cause he kind of talked about his last break up and that it was really hard. & Then he said stuff like he didn't think he could do a long distance relationship (he might move in the fall) and that he wasn't really looking for a relationship (???) yet he's acting like he does cause I don't think friends would do that but maybe I'm wrong. Or maybe he just wants a fling or some shit that I should have seen a long time ago.