i just needed a place to let this out. i’m so broken. i love L so much. more than anything. he let me go through his phone awhile ago and i found porn which idc about. the other day i was teasing him and he was coming right back at me and then i said “at least there’s not porn on my phone” and he laughed it off he didn’t seem to care. well tonight i was having a bad night and i’m also on my period so that intensified my feelings by 10. and he said he couldn’t call tonight (we ft every night and i always fall asleep on ft because he sings me songs until i do, i can’t sleep without him) and so i was upset about that because he cheers me up every night. and i was having an already bad day (i used to cut but stopped because it was stressing him out. i’m also suicidal and some of that was coming out) and i knew i had done something but couldn’t think of what and he got upset and told me it was the porn thing. and he also told me that he cut himself. and knowing it’s my fault hurts me so bad. so i cut again. i love him so much and he is usually the one that stops me from hurting myself. i want to die. how could i do something like this. i’m such a bad person.