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I think what you’re feeling is normal! And maybe you should just tell him what you’re feeling. His time off is literally designated to be with his kids. It’s not “helping you” when he does stuff. They’re his kids too. It’s part of his job. That’s like saying a guy is “babysitting” his own kids. Maybe he doesn’t understand. Guys are bad at picking up on things. We gotta be blunt. Lol. My husband tells me that all the time. He doesn’t know what I need unless I tell him which is hard cuz I want him to just “know”. Unfortunately that’s not how guys’ brains work. You said he’s great! Hopefully he’ll be grateful for your honesty even if he’s not thrilled about stepping into his responsibilities
Nowhere else to vent..
My twins will be 3 weeks old on Sunday and this has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I am breastfeeding them both while supplementing with an ounce to two ounces once or twice a day for our baby girl. She’s not gaining weight as quickly as the pediatrician would like.
Our baby boy wants to nurse nonstop.. he never seems full and I feel like I won’t have enough for his sister if she wants to feed right after. I have nurses them at the same time maybe three times but that is very difficult and I’d rather one at a time. He also gets so mad if he’s not fed right away and has nearly passed out from crying so hard. My 2nd born did this when she was a baby.
I’ve been getting maybe three hours of sleep at night and it’s wearing me out. My husband has six weeks off, paid, but honestly he’s not much help.. especially at night. He was amazing when I was in the hospital when I had a spinal migraine and was just in a lot of pain over all but since we’ve been home he’s back to playing his video games and gets so frustrated when he has to change a diaper or pick up a crying baby.
With our other two he had all the patience in the world for them. I guess maybe its because it seems like if one baby isn’t crying then the other one is. I try not to ask him for help unless I absolutely need it. Playing his games usually keeps him in a good mood. Now if I asked him to turn his game off to help me or watch tv with me he would but it doesn’t mean he’ll be happy about it. He is a good husband and a good father but with having two babies it seems to be wearing on him in other ways.
My parents flew down right before I had the babies and were here up until this morning. It’s hard and I feel so alone. Everything and nothing seems to make me cry.
I don’t know.. I just needed to let this off somewhere..
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I've been there girl. I still am there sometimes. I talk to him about playing video games all the time and it helped. Right now you're in the thick of it. It really really sucks. I hate when people say it get better, but it really does. I am currently nursing twins and girl I dont know how you dont tandem feed. I give you props. Twin life is really lonely. Iirc found a great friend through this site and we message almost every day. I'm so thankful for her and our friendship. Feel free to message me. I know where you are. It's so hard in the first 10 weeks. Especially with other kids too. (I have two older kids) You got this momma, the sleep deprivation is setting in but you can do it!
Talk to your husband. He’s not “helping” you, he is the father of those kids, he has equal responsibilities. He can be as moody as he wants but he needs to get things done.It’s ROUGH. If you need to, supplement more with formula to get a break. I could never tandem feed, so I understand you.Ask your husband to take turns so you can get some hours of solid sleep (from 9pm till 2am for example).Having twins is tough and he needs to man up.When I stopped BF at 3m I had cans of Red Bull for emergencies (when I felt I was going to drop dead). It gets better, I swear. You need to survive the first 6 months.
Why do I feel like your writing my life right now minus the paid days off for my husband! Instead my husband decided to not take any time off and continue to work full time because he works for his uncle and wants to “prove himself” he’s an amazing husband great father but the twins have my husband feeling some kind of way. He comes home and kinda helps me out but gets frustrated with them at night and starts making stupid comments which piss me off! And I know a lot of people on this group say being a twin mom is lonely and sadly it’s true. I have my mom here to help me but I feel like not being a burden on her so I try to do the most with cleaning and taking care of my 3 week old twin boys. Spent a lot of these past couple nights crying but I know it will get better I’m with you !
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