Nowhere else to vent..

My twins will be 3 weeks old on Sunday and this has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I am breastfeeding them both while supplementing with an ounce to two ounces once or twice a day for our baby girl. She’s not gaining weight as quickly as the pediatrician would like.

Our baby boy wants to nurse nonstop.. he never seems full and I feel like I won’t have enough for his sister if she wants to feed right after. I have nurses them at the same time maybe three times but that is very difficult and I’d rather one at a time. He also gets so mad if he’s not fed right away and has nearly passed out from crying so hard. My 2nd born did this when she was a baby.

I’ve been getting maybe three hours of sleep at night and it’s wearing me out. My husband has six weeks off, paid, but honestly he’s not much help.. especially at night. He was amazing when I was in the hospital when I had a spinal migraine and was just in a lot of pain over all but since we’ve been home he’s back to playing his video games and gets so frustrated when he has to change a diaper or pick up a crying baby.

With our other two he had all the patience in the world for them. I guess maybe its because it seems like if one baby isn’t crying then the other one is. I try not to ask him for help unless I absolutely need it. Playing his games usually keeps him in a good mood. Now if I asked him to turn his game off to help me or watch tv with me he would but it doesn’t mean he’ll be happy about it. He is a good husband and a good father but with having two babies it seems to be wearing on him in other ways.

My parents flew down right before I had the babies and were here up until this morning. It’s hard and I feel so alone. Everything and nothing seems to make me cry.

I don’t know.. I just needed to let this off somewhere..