Marriage is shaky

My husband has always been one of those “guys” that does very little around the house and leaves almost everything on my plate. I have been a very outspoken person about how I don’t agree with the traditional gender roles. We both work full time and the kids are at school and daycare. Recently he had back surgery which was rough on everyone for a few weeks-he couldn’t do anything-I even had to help him in the bathroom! Fast forward 5 weeks and right after he could finally hold the baby, he is now sick and claiming he can’t do anything again. I am so stressed so I have lost any of my “bedside manner” during his ongoing sickness, so we haven’t been getting along. I admit I haven’t been very nice lately but I am damn exhausted-which he doesn’t seem to get. Yesterday we were sitting at dinner and we are trying not to fight in front of the kids and I probably said something he didn’t like and he threw water in my face in front of all of the kids!! They start crying and of course I am shocked then pissed. It was just a literal mess. I really didn’t talk to him that night or most of the day (I’m working-he is on week 6 of being off for my back issue). After I get home he comes in and the first thing he says is, “I shouldn’t have thrown water on you. That was horrible. I know your pissed at me so you’re going to be really mad now. I bought a new truck.” WTF He says I’m too controlling and he has wanted one for a long time. (I just wanted to make a smart decision for our family of 3 small kids). So he goes and does this without even saying a word to me. All of this is just making me feel divorce is on the horizon. Thoughts?