Two years ago, I miscarried my first baby.

I didn’t know up till my 10 week 1 day appointment (3/10/17) I went in not worried about a thing... and they did an ultrasound and told me my baby didn’t have a heart beat and mind that the dad was in the room and it was his first time seeing his child thinking everything was ok. He was completely still looking at the screen. She later on told me the options (Try to wait till my body expels the baby naturally, take a pill, or a Missed “D&C”) I chose the natural way but went home in denial thinking everything was ok and ignored the doctors calls for weeks I went back 4/5/17 and got another ultrasound and they told me I needed to handle this situation now rather than later because the baby was not decomposing and my body wasn’t naturally miscarrying so I went and got the pill and later on miscarried that next morning @2:45AM well me being 17 I lived w/my mom and the night prior I payed on a blow up mattress so I won’t miss up my bed. Well when I woke up to miscarrying I told my mom and she told me to get in the shower. So I did... btw. Before telling her I seen my baby and held my baby I seen its little eyes and body. I took a shower and came out to see everything thrown away the sheets mattress everything and when I said why did you throw it away she said it’s trash you don’t need that! I said ok and went to the room and balled out crying. I feel guilty because my baby was not trash and I just let that happen. Idk what I would’ve done w/my baby but I just didn’t want to throw my baby away like garbage.