Sometimes I hate my body.

Normally I would love that I have ovulation bleeding right now, but my doctor said that if I was to get pregnant at this point in time I would be high risk and I wouldn't be able to have a midwife and most likely wouldn't get the natural unmedicated birth that I want either. I am extremely obese with a BMI of 48 and I might be pre diabetic. I am only 21 and would like to give my son a baby brother or sister soon. Someone please help me. What has worked for you? How long have you been doing it and how much weight have you lost?