oppositional defiant disorder? something else?

i apologize for the long post, it seems more of a rant but it’s just the backstory for my question. my brother is 14 now. he’s my best friend and i care about him more than literally anyone in the entire world but i’m so concerned about him. in 7th grade, he really started off too early and began partying and smoking weed in 8th grade. i’m not going to bash this, i started smoking and going to parties when i was not much older than him but i have a good head on my shoulders and i never let myself get out of control or make very obviously unsafe choices. he’s such a smart kid, but makes the worst decisions. i never really noticed a problem until pretty recently when he started stealing my moms car when she was sleeping and driving around with his friends. he got in basically no trouble when she found out. he argued the whole time that it basically wasn’t a big deal. (TW: RAPE and some graphic detail) currently, we’re awaiting his trial due to the fact that about 5 months ago he went to a party and had drunk sex with a drunk girl he didn’t know very well. someone walked in on them in the end and she ran off crying very embarrassed as she has a boyfriend so she accused him of raping her while she was passed out. she verbally consented, another kid saw them together, (her giving him oral, awake obviously) but this kid is on probation and wasn’t allowed to be at the party so he REFUSES to use this detail just so he’s not known as a snitch, even to SAVE HIS OWN ASS from being convicted of rape. obviously he didn’t do it but it was a terrible decision to be drunk and have sex with another drunk girl who he didn’t know well but knew she was in a relationship. now the trial is about a month away and he has remained completely worry free and unconcerned about this and continued to party and drink and smoke weed even though he’s on probation and could be drug tested any week. i’ve been places with him, he gets absolutely shit faced now more so than before and has made ridiculously terrible decisions (ex: stick and poke tattoos, letting people brand him with a lighter, etc) he has a good relationship with my mom but very obviously has 0 respect for her and makes it known with his actions and disregard for her wishes but he would never say it out right. when he got booked, he was a complete asshole to the cop as he does terrible with authority. he can never admit he’s wrong or correlate his decisions with the bad outcomes. at a therapy appointment my therapist mentioned that it could be ODD but i read that it typically presents itself in anger, anxiety, and anti-social tendencies. this is not him. the reason i think he has a real problem and he’s not just a rebellious teen is because i KNOW he is smart (he does great in school and has an above average IQ) but he can’t use reason or logic when it comes to basically any real life situation that could present danger or long term negative consequences. my parents can’t afford military school as many people have suggested. we’re all at a loss about what to do because we all love him so much and could never give up on him, he’s not even 15 years old for fucks sake. i just don’t understand what the problem is. is he just a bad person? we were raised the exact same way and have the same friends and i turned out perfectly fine, so i just don’t know. maybe it’s just the way he was programmed.