Would you be offended if your mother in law bought your 4 month old daughter a head pillow to help your daughters head not be as flat? They lay on there backs all the time. I don’t think it’s abnormality flat.

Question

She didn’t ask me if I wanted it, she just told my husband that she bought it. Hasn’t said a word to me yet

Answer

Why would you be offended? Genuinely curious..

Answer

I wouldn’t. Unless she was going behind my back making assumptions that I didn’t hold my baby enough and that’s why he/she had a flat head. 
She probably just noticed that it was a bit flat and thought she could help. 
I understand why it could feel a bit like a slap in the face because we all do our best to be the best as parents and when someone does something that implies that you “haven’t done enough.”  Can make you feel like crap. Especially since we can put so much damn pressure on ourselves trying to be the “perfect mum”.
Truth is No one is a perfect mum. We kinda just learn to adjust and adapt as we need to.
Your mother in law would have felt the same way as you at one point and I suggest if you do feel offended to politely remind her of that. But please keep in mind that it’s highly likely that she just loves your baby as much as you do & wants the very best for her, she probably doesn’t even realise that she’s crossing potential boundary’s. 
And as hard as it is to imagine someone else loving your baby as much as you do. .. just try to. 
Isn’t it a nice thought? 
Knowing that there is someone else that holds so much love for your child. Knowing that someone else would go to the ends of the earth for your child if there ever happened to be a circumstance where you couldn’t? :)
It’s hard sometimes.. and it can feel as if they are trying to fill your shoes as the baby’s mum. But In all honestly. They’re probably just trying to help. :)

Answer

At first I was confused but now I understand why you asked. When our son was born, my MIL offered to stay with us for a week and I was so excited because I was scared as a FTM and was grateful for the help. Big mistake lol! I was having a hard time adjusting after a c-section and my baby wouldn’t latch so a lot of sad feelings and I felt like an inadequate mom. Well my MIL would wake up at night when he cried and would rush to pick him up before I did and then when I went to her she would ask me to get his bottle ready. I got really upset about that because I felt like I wasn’t bonding with my son and it made me so upset with her that I literally ugly cried in the bathroom because I was too scared to tell her. 
The next day I decided to let her know how I was feeling. We sat down as two adults and she was stunned and upset that she made me feel that way. I don’t regret letting her know because I feel like our relationship grew stronger after that. 
My point here is maybe talk to her if you can bring it up casually. Having open communication with your in laws is important because now they’re your family and will be a big part of your baby’s life so don’t be afraid to ask or talk about things! I hope she is open to that.

Would you be offended if your mother in law bought your 4 month old daughter a head pillow to help your daughters head not be as flat? They lay on there backs all the time. I don’t think it’s abnormality flat.

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