⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️

This is the first time I’ve ever opened up about dreams like this. It scares me and makes me uncomfortable, so please don’t be judgmental.

For the past couple years, before I even had sex, I’ve been having dreams about getting raped. As scary as that is, it gets even worse. I am getting raped by family members in my dreams. The dreams first started off as me getting raped by my dad and younger brother. My brother is a few years younger than me, but I look at him as an older brother. Neither of them have EVER EVER done anything sexual to me. My dad cheated on my mom years ago but has never done or said anything to me in an inappropriate manner. My brother and I are best friends and super close, but definitely NOT in a sexual way. These dreams make me feel super uncomfortable and weird.

It gets worse though.

Last night I had a dream that my uncle and boyfriend raped me. I only see my uncle once a year or once every two years since he lives in a different country, but during the summer, he made me feel uncomfortable. My uncle kept on insisting that we go on the lake alone in his boat and that he wanted me to stay over at my grandma’s with him and some other family members. I kept saying that I couldn’t stay over, but he kept insisting and was even trying to offer me alcohol as a bribe. Yeah, my uncle didn’t say anything “sexual” but it gave me a weird vibe that I didn’t want to find out about. So maybe this was why he was in my dream..

My boyfriend was also in that dream, which I was confused by also. My boyfriend has never sexually harassed me or done anything for me to think that. He’s the most respectful guy ever. I have been sexually harassed multiple times in my past and in past relationships, but never with him.

Some part of me wonders if I have gotten sexually harassed or raped when I was younger because of these dreams and I sometimes get an uncomfortable gut feeling during sex. I don’t know. If anyone has any insight or opinions, I’d really appreciate that.