Me & my husband have been trying to conceive. I want a baby more than anything. He is a sibling of 3. His sister accidentally got pregnant by her boyfriend 2 years ago. His mom is very religious and was upset when she got pregnant they wanted to get married first. Now not a single thing matters except their almost 3 year old granddaughter. She is the center of attention w which why wouldn’t she be? She’s beautiful and my niece. However they struggle a lot with money, and my husbands dad has had to pay them out of their overdraft bank debt several times because they are irresponsible with their money.

She knows we have been trying. We talk a lot. She texted me today and asked if my period ever came and I said yes unfortunately... I guess God decided it isn’t my time. And then she tells me she is 12 weeks pregnant and wanted to know if I was because it would be fun to be pregnant together. Nope! Of course I’m happy for her, but also so sad and jealous. Why can’t it be our turn? I don’t understand. I feel terrible for feeling upset and selfish, but I just don’t get it. Of course I’m happy she’s having another, but now I feel like having a baby is put on hold for us and we need to wait.

I feel like we will be old news when it’s our time because it’s always about them... every birthday, every holiday, always. I do not want our lives to be a competition between us I just want my first baby. I guess what I’m asking is- have you ever been close in age with your sister or sister in law while trying to have babies? Or trying to plan weddings, etc? How do you deal with the mixed emotions? I feel so lost & selfish. I’m not proud of feeling this way and I don’t want to feel this way 💔 When will it be my time?