I relapsed...

I’m 13 and I have been self harming for almost a year now a couple weeks ago I was admitted to a mental hospital and I came and I was the happiest I’ve been in awhile and my girlfriends dad is really sick and they had a scare that he might pass my girlfriend was really upset and she told me she is done with me because she couldn’t be healthy for herself let only me and I begged for her to stay and that we will get better together and she hung up on me so I found my razor blades and sliced my wrist and it was really deep and I think I nicked an vein or something and now I’m really mad at myself if you guys have any advice on forgetting myself I would greatly appreciate it😊