I was going out with my partner for two years and 1 month.

I loved him dearly. I knew he cheated at the start of our relationship but then I let it slide thinking it was a one off. Then about 6 months before we broke up I knew he was messaging other people. As soon as we broke up he started sleeping with them. And I let him off and we were still friends.

Anyways the entire two years we were together he was so controlling. I always had to be with him on my days off work (if he was working then I had to go to work with him)

I wasn't allowed to cut my hair, drink alcohol, go out with friends, wear specific clothing.

We had sex whenever he wanted, not me. He'd control everything. He even made me get a transfer at work because he didn't like the way me and my manager got on.

Anyways skip forward, for 6 months after the relationship we stayed friends. He kept saying he wanted to try again but needed time. He said he was eventually ready and asked to meet up. So I met him. We went to the cinema and for food and he drove me home and all was okay. Until it wasn't... He decided to try and sexually assault me in the car. He started touching me and I asked him to stop. He didn't. So I pushed his hands away but he just got rougher. He then tried to finger me and I kept trying so hard to push him away. I eventually got out of the car.

He messaged me a little while afterwards saying that he was sorry and it was an impulse and that he wanted to be with me and loved me... So stupidly I said it was fine! All that night he was being lovely and saying how happy he was we were back together

Then the next day I find out he's been spreading shit about me, tried to get me fired from work (we work in the same place) and had a girlfriend! (She found out about me and broke up with him that day) so he's lost both of us!!

I reported the assault to the police as an informal interview (so nothing will happen with it now but if he ever gets accused again they will call me as witness ect)

Were not talking at all (awkward seen as though we work together and live 5 doors away from each other) but I can't believe I wasted 2 years in a relationship with him and 6 months being friends afterwards and the entire time I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE HOW CONTROLLING AND ABUSIVE HE WAS!!! He said "well done, you've lost me" like it's a bad thing??? I'm eventually free!!! I can do what I want! I'm not trapped anymore! I'm not scared about what I wear, say or do. I'm allowed to cut, dye and style my hair how i want... I just wish I'd noticed all of this sooner!!

It took me losing my son to realise that wasn't the life I wanted him to be born into!