I just need to vent, mamas. My MIL makes me so crazy. For some history, she watched my oldest when she was a baby and even though she was EBF, my MIL repeatedly gave her formula without my permission or knowledge. It was a huge issue at the time and seriously messed with our relationship.

But that was 2 years ago, and a lot has changed between now and then. This weekend my husband and I decided to spend the night at a hotel in town for our anniversary and have his parents stay with our girls. I was really anxious, knowing what my MIL has done in the past, but I was willing to try again. Since I work nights, I know exactly how much milk she takes overnight. She sleeps 9-10 hours straight most nights (I know, we got lucky with this one!) so she only take a bedtime bottle, a middle of the night bottle and a morning bottle. With my husband, she’s never taken more than 8 ounces total overnight (she nurses A LOT during the day). I left my MIL 16 oz in the fridge and told her that she wouldn’t drink all of it, but it was there if she needed it. She immediately said all this stuff about how babies drink more when their moms aren’t around, blah blah blah, until I finally said “This is definitely enough for overnight. There’s milk in the freezer too, but this is enough.”

When we came back in the morning, she’d used all the milk in the fridge AND took 5 ounces out of the freezer. That’s 21 ounces just for overnight. She kept telling me she was “starving”.

I just can’t believe it. No one else has ever had trouble feeding my breastfed babies. They always use what’s given. For comparison, I worked overnight the next night and my husband gave her 4 ounces at bedtime and 4 ounces when she woke up for the day. And she refused to nurse when I got home because she was full.

I feel like my MIL is just trying to prove to me that I don’t make enough milk for my babies, but I know I do. She’s growing and thriving and healthy and happy. How could she be “starving?” Even if she took in more milk because it was someone besides me or my husband overnight, a 12 ounce difference is insane. I suffered with postpartum anxiety with my first and so much of it was related to breastfeeding which was made worse by my MIL telling me how I wasn’t making enough for my baby and she wasn’t growing correctly. This time has been so much easier, but this situation is just bringing back all of that anxiety and insecurity.

After all the overnight milk with my MIL my baby was spitting up all day, she was super gassy and uncomfortable. But every time she fussed my MIL would say “Oh, she’s hungry, better feed her!” and then look at me until I started nursing. I just feel beaten down. I work so hard to make enough, and I know I do. I’ve got a great freezer stash, I produce more than she eats while I’m working. But there’s just something about my MIL that makes me feel like a failure.

Thanks for letting me get that all out. It’s so hard to be a mom!