Am I crazy?

My husband has never trusted me. We have been together for eight years and he always accuses me of cheating. He will talk about “my other boyfriend” then play it of like he is joking. Up until I got pregnant in December of 2016 he would bring up the man I slept with while we had broken up (for almost a year) and call me a whore, tell me I was nasty, etc. I was young and dumb and took him back after he said things like that because I did love him after all. He proposed to me in the middle of a fight where he was accusing me of trying to sleep with his cousin. No I am not joking. I had been in his family for so long so of course I had formed bonds with his family. His cousin and I both suffer from multiple mental health issues and I was talking him through a very dark episode and my boyfriend of seven years at the time accused me of trying to bang his cousin instead of believing I wanted to help him through a CRISIS. I told him I couldn’t do this anymore so he proposed and threatened to get the gun from the bedroom where our daughter was sleeping and shoot himself if I left. So I said yes and married him a few weeks later. I have only recently realized that doing that to me was wrong. Here we are again and he is accusing me of cheating bc he found Axe Body Spray in he car. Our other vehicle has been broken down for almost a month and he has used it most days for work and he carpools with a coworker. He is now trying to act like he was just playing and I’m just being “defensive.” Please be honest with me and tell me if I am either being crazy or am right and he is in fact mentally abusing me. Because I am so confused and hurt and I just don’t know anymore.

Also I hate that he almost always brings things like this up when I am in the bathroom or lifting so instead of talking to me face-to-face he messaged me. We are MARRIED. We shouldn’t be having these conversations on our phones

Edited: thank you ladies for being honest with me. He was my high school sweetheart which is why I believe I was so easily manipulated and able to be beat down, I was so young and I have loved him with my whole heart. I have not had any other serious relationships and for so long I believed this is the way ALL relationships were. He had a very ugly, dark childhood so I believed it was all due to that (and may be) but I’ve been going through this for so long that his childhood is not an excuse anymore. I am broken down to a million pieces and don’t know how I am supposed to start over but I need to. I’m just so scared to leave him with our baby, he is a great provider and plays well with her but I give all baths, give medicine, cook, dress her, all the hard stuff. I’m so scared of the thought of him being responsible for those things. I also have no car (we recently sold the broken down one which was mine), no house, no job (we have no one who could babysit), and no money. It doesn’t help that his family is the WORST. One of his cousins went through a break up with his child’s mother not too long ago and they have put her through hell. They called CPS on her because she was “homeless.” The girl moved in with a friend temporarily after she moved out of his house because she was starting over and they tried to take her baby away. I smoke weed to help with the mental health issues mentioned above and since it’s illegal here I am so terrified of what they will do 😞 I have no reason to be here if I don’t have my baby girl, she has kept me going when all I wanted to do was end it. It’s going to be hard and I am going to need a lot of strength to break these chains, so please pray for me or send good vibes or give some advice.

Also it was years ago when I found another woman’s clothes. I found them a few weeks after we had gotten back together and because I trusted him I just assumed they were from when we were split up, so I really don’t know about that. I truly am starting to believe though that he has to be doing something shady.