Okay. Please be nice to me when I talk about this. I'm kinda sensitive

Okay so I'm a 17 year old female, I have a job and really good grades in school. And I just so happen to have a lot of sex. I hate condoms. Not because of "taking away the pleasure" but because whenever I use them. I always hurt down there. So I use birth control and the pull out method.

Well next week I have a doctor's appointment including blood testing, urine tests ect. And there is a possibility of an STD. Not saying that I have one, but I've always been terrified of them.

Well, my mother is very mentally and verbally abusive, I'm terrified of her. And I know if she finds out, that will be the end of any life I have.

What can I do? (As I said, please be nice I'm the comments)