Today I was told by my therapist I have PTSD from all the messed up stuff my ex and other guys from the past did. It gets bad when I'm alone with guys I'm close with.

The other night I had my first full PTSD style anxiety attack when I was relaxing with my crush. We had just had sex, laying in bed, the moment was sweet and perfect but my anxiety took over and I couldn't stop thinking about the past events that bothered me. I then got on top of him and started telling him I was so bored and rambling on about how I don't want him going and falling in love with me. I said a bunch of stuff I didn't mean like 100mph and I couldn't shut up! 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ He left the room, he came back, I apologized, and then I couldn't shut up again! I cried and cried and told him I had so much on my mind. I fell asleep with him and the next day we didn't mention the night before but I'm sure he's thinking WTF?!

He hit me up asking to hang out yesterday so the kitty must hit good. 😂

But now what do I do? Do I mention the last time I saw him and explain what happened? (I had actually made an appointment with a therapist before I ever hung out with him and got to meet with her recently and she explained why I felt what I was feeling.) Do I just pretend nothing ever happened? I don't want him to think I'm a "damaged woman".. I don't want to ruin the fun with my anxiety but the fear has never been so real. There's no reason to feel unsafe around this guy either, he's been nothing but kind to me and it's a shame because he deserves a happy woman. What would you do? Share your fears with him or pretend nothing happened and keep moving forward?