Hello everyone, please forgive me if this is a little long.

My child (14 1/2) identifies as non binary.

I’ve struggled with the request to be addressed as “they” or “them” - simply because if feels (for me) incorrect to call an individual “they or them” (unless I’m talking to others and referring to my child.)

That aside - I didn’t know if bothered my child so much and it’s caused my child hurt and it bothers me that I did that.

While my husband and I both love this child very much and try to be supportive...My husband and I are maybe not as accepting as we could be (of the community as a whole and my child takes this personally even though we’ve accepted what my child has expressed)

my husband is Christian and takes the Bible literally. For me, is not a matter of anything other than - not my monkey, not my circus when it comes to others sexuality or identity. I just don’t care because it doesn’t affect me (and I feel is none of my business).

We’ve struggled together for a bit because I want my child to be sure the feelings and thoughts that they’ve been having truly belong to them and not friends/peers, etc.

With all of that being said; I’m hoping for advice on ways I can be more supportive to my child directly, they’ve put in a request to look into binding and have done research.

I just want her to feel safe and supported by me.

We’ve both started seeing a therapist (both individually and together) but has made a request for a therapist that specifically deals with gender identity issues and I’m not sure if we should go straight to one or work on her anxiety and depression some first (it’s not all identity related).

Also- just in case you need more info : biologically female, does not want to transition to male. Does want to bind and maybe remove breasts.

Again- it hurts my heart that my child is hurting and I’m just looking for advice on how I can help and be more supportive to my biggest baby.