My husband and I made the decision today that we aren’t doing baseball this year. And for whatever reason, it has me super sad for my son. (Who doesn’t seem to mind.)

Signups are tonight. Season starts in April and runs through June. I will be 9 months pregnant and then go through delivery and then have a newborn and be recovering from a csection.

My husband works late. It will be a lot of me hauling him to practice or games with our one year old and super pregnant. I went to the OB today and they mentioned I might be having this baby sooner rather than later. But nothing is for certain. I’m being monitored and taking it easy. This is the first baby I’m not on bedrest at this point. And I’m thankful.

And sadly, our little league is more chaos than league. Often we don’t have schedules or practices or games until sometimes the night before.

I’m relieved not to add another extracurricular to the schedule. He’s already in school, has choir, and Wednesday night club. And we want the kids to be free to go to my moms during these last weeks.

But I’m also sad. He’s a good little ball player. It makes him active and gets him outside. And I like being a ball mom. But last year, my husband missed a lot of games because of work. And it was hard on my littlest one to be out at the field. Often we couldn’t take him because he suffers from allergies and ear infections. And the pollen aggravates it.

I also don’t want to make a commitment to a team and not have him be there. I know we have years of ball ahead. But I hate him not getting to play. For some reason, hormonally, it just made me really sad.