Do you refer back to your highlight reel to masturbate or during sex???

So my fiance is a prude when it comes to sex. It's to the point where I can't even wake up and surprise him w some shit because he will find an excuse not to engage and brush me off. And when we do have sex it's pretty MEH! Same position not enough foreplay... I have to think of past partners to enjoy or masturbate because he jus doesn't scratch the itch. We have sex like once a month, twice if I'm lucky and it's always on his time... I'm a very sexual person and I feel like he jus pretended to be in the beginning and jus to get me pregnant... Anyone else have to refer to the highlight reel to get one off???