Why do I feel this way !!

I’ve been TTC for a YEAR now . I’ve been TTC in the past, but now that I am married I want to start a family so BAD. MY CLOSEST friends know my struggle with PCOS and conceiving which they’ve been so supportive with and I love them to death. I’m two weeks late on my period and I am SO SCARED to take a pregnancy test, because if it were to come OUT negative it would break my soul and my husband, because he found out I was late and he got so exited and I don’t want to disappoint .

Anyways my CLOSEST friend of 5-6 years knows my situation and my struggles . Been there when I’ve broke down crying and through so much more shit . Anyways today she found out she was pregnant . She does not WANT to be pregnant let alone did she plan to end up preggo. She comes vent to me how blah blah. I can’t help, but cry and wonder why? Why me ? Why can’t my body work . I am happy for her, but at the same time I wish I was her . I wish it was me . I love her, but now I envy her . I hate feeling this way, but what can I say .