idk if i’m just scaring myself...

i have a really bad habit of overthinking and scaring myself and i even am starting to think i’m developing postpartum OCD... I have an appointment this week with my doctor but i just want to know if anyone else has felt this way... my baby is a week old as of yesterday, and i’m having a really hard time visualizing his future. like i can’t even picture what it’s going to be like to have him during christmas time or his first birthday or his first ice cream or anything like that... and it’s starting to scare/bother me :( has anyone else had a hard time with this or other things pertaining to postpartum ocd? i have also had some pretty intense intrusive thoughts but they haven’t been as bad as they were the first night i had them because i’ve done a lot of research to calm myself down and realize it’s just my brain playing a trick on me because i care about my baby so much... but i still get anxiety over what thoughts i had or anxiety about them coming back as bad as they were... just wanted to know if i’m not alone. i can’t wait for my doctor appointment to go over treatment for these anxieties and feelings i’m having. i’m a first time mom and never expected anything like this :(