When it came to me, was I ever a option to you? You gave "M" so many chances. She used to sneak out, got caught with drugs in her car, talked back, had a drug dealer boyfriend, and got herself in some sticky situations. When it came to "A" she seemed like your whole world even when you would tell us while she wasn't around that she talks too much. They had freedom. What did I have? For 18 years you kept me in that house. That house that you know I dredded. Before I was born is it really true you tried to get my mom to have a abortion? Did you really not want me from the beginning? Was I just not worth it? Your drug problem got out of hand, and I'm sure it still it. I bet you thought I didn't know about it, but I do. I remember going into your bedroom when I was about 8 and finding your stash, not knowing it was all things you shouldn't have. Why? Why did you make my life a living hell? Why couldn't I go over to friends houses like "M" or "A" or even "G"? They all got the love. "G" wasn't even your son, he was your whore of a wife's son? Why did you have to cheat on my mom? Why did you have to ruin our family? I was only 5 years old, but I still remember the day she left like it was yesterday. You heard that she was going to file for a divorce and come get all her stuff from the house with a cop accompanying her, so you were going to try to say the drugs were hers. Little did you know she had proof it was yours and once you got home they already threw it all out. Why did you raise you fist at her that day? If my aunt hadn't walked in on it, you could have really hurt her. Why did you marry that whore right after? You didn't even give your own children time to grieve. Once we grew up a little and moved into that giant new house you built that had cost .5 million why did you become a whole new man? I was Cinderella to you, and not in the pretty princess way. I cleaned that house every single day. I would do the floors for four hours every other day. You always got mad when my grades weren't a B or above.. but you wouldn't let me do homework until all my chores were done, and usually I didn't finish chores until 9 at night when it was time for me to sleep. Why did you get me a phone in 6th grade and then decide to listen to the rumors of silly kids from school and take it for three years? I told you I didn't do it? I had proof I didn't? You cut off my communication with my mom when you did that. It really hurt. Why did you get me a new phone but would never let me actually use it? If I did get to it was maybe for a hour until I had to put it on the counter at nine every night. Why didn't you make my sisters or brother do that? What made me so different? Why did my t.v. have a timer but theirs didn't? It would only let me turn it on from 6:30 p.m. until 10:30 p.m. what were you keeping away from me? Why did you get "M" a brand new mustang for her 16th birthday and "A" a new truck for hers but when it came to my 16th birthday all I got was "Chicken wings are ready"? Not even a single happy birthday or a gift? What did I do? Why would you call me fat? Why would you sit there and just yell and yell after I told you that you were scaring me? Why did you ignore the fact that I almost killed myself? You acted like you didn't care and said it was for attention ? Why did you not speak or even look at me after I got home from summer at mom's? Why did you tell me two weeks after doing that, that you were avoiding me? When I was 3 months from turning 18 I did get that new boyfriend who I fell in love with. But you didn't like that I was finally getting happy. I decided once I turned 18 I was going to go live with him. Why did you tell me a few days before I needed to be more like my sisters? Why did you yell at me for not eating because I was too scared to come out of my room? You didn't even notice until someone else said something about it. Why did you come in my room the night before I moved out and tell me I'm a piece of shit? Why did you tell me I'm living between reality and fantasy? Why did you tell me I'm not going to get anywhere in life? And the day I left why didn't you even say bye? Why did you only say good luck? You broke me. You hurt me. You made me feel worthless. Don't you get that? My step dad is more of a dad then you will ever be. And just so you know I am living my BEST life, other then the constant nightmares of you. I am finally happy, I am finally free. As for you, taking that money from your work that you don't think I know about, well I hope someone finds out. I know of one person who has proof, but she wouldn't do that to you. Your partner in from at work recently got caught doing it, so your time is ticking. I hope you get just a small glimpse of pain from it. You deserve it. Please don't ever come back, I don't need you.

Sincerely,

Jessica