I had a mmc last jan 2018, around 9-10wks, with cytotec. Took a year to conceive again, got a positive this past jan 2019. Saw baby's heart beating at 6w2d. Had a bleeding scare around 7wks and went to ER. We saw our baby had grown and the heartbeat was clear and strong at 152. But i noticed the yolk sac looked unusually large compared to other baby's ultrasound pics. The yolk sac measurement was 6mm. I researched a lot and found this was a little larger than normal and that it typically ended in mc. I met with my obgyn couple days after and she reassured me yolk sac size isn't used for prognosis and told me not to worry. It was hard to believe bcs my previous mc was caused by yolk sac abnormality, double yolk sac with no fetal growth. Everyone around me convinced me this pregnancy was different and that i should stay positive and strong for the baby. I did. I overcame my fear and started to believe different pregnancy different outcome. Had terrible nausea, sore bbs, all symptoms. March 8, At 10w2d, got the genetic screening. March 11 was my 10w5d ultrasound appointment. We were expecting to see a wiggling baby. She found baby right away, it had grown quite a bit. Except, it measured 9w2d. It's heart stopped beating around that time. I got sent for a confirmatory ultrasound with another dr. the following day. It was confirmed, my baby's heart stopped beating. I was scheduled for a d&c that friday. Was instructed to take 1 pill of cytotec the night before and 1 pill the morning of the d&c, to help me dilate for the procedure. The first pill made me cramp and bleed a little all night but it was bearable. The next morning, i took the second pill 4 hrs before the procedure. I cramped and started bleeding more. I was prepped for surgery at 10am. Cramped and bled. Sitting on the hospital bed, around 11am, i felt something move in my uterus and a warm gush of water come out. I guess it was my water breaking. I told the nurse and she just changed the pad for me. Around 12pm, right before my surgery, i had an urge to urinate. They led me to the restroom, i sat and peed, then suddenly felt something come out of me. In horror, i stood and looked down and there it was, the entire sac. I thought of reaching in to grab my dead baby but the toilet suddenly flushed automatically. I stood in shock and pressed the emergency button. The nurse tried to fish out remaining tissue, but it was too late. They were going to test my baby for chromosome issues. The obgyn told me they could possibly use remaining tissue to test. But testing was not the upsetting issue. My baby got flushed down the toilet and i couldn't grab it out in time. I feel completely broken.

2 days ago, i got a call from the genetic screening. My baby was a boy. We named him Jayden.

If you are going thru a d&c, if u plan on seeing your baby, or having them tested, plz know you can deliver the baby right b4 the procedure. Plz be careful. I hope no one ever goes thru this. No person should ever see their baby getting flushed down a toilet.

I just dont know how i will ever move forward from this.