How to handle all these feelings

I had an abortion 3 weeks ago with my boyfriend who I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with. I’ve been feeling resentful and part of me hates him because while I had to be stuck in bed because I wasn’t allowed to drink, smoke, or workout he was swimming and smoking. I told him if I can’t workout you can’t but I got mad that he still swam. And I still can’t swim for another week but I’m just fucking mad that I feel like shit because of how my body looks but I feel like all he cares about is himself. Honestly I feel like this is my rock bottom, my mom and trusted family friend told me all he would do is bring me misery and for so long I fought them on this and new I’m starting to believe it. I used to be so confident and proud of my body, now I can barely leave the house without a baggy sweater. I hate him for this and I can never say it out loud. And I’ve already tried talking about it with him, what else should I do?