I’m so torn with names!


I know I’ll continue to go back and forth about this until our baby girl comes but it feels so good to be able to call her a “her” right now and I know a name would feel even better.

In my 20s I was in a long-term relationship with an absolutely amazing person. Just not right for me. I ended it (more than once) and it’s taken him a long time to let go. At least that’s what I hear from friends. For the 5 years we were together, I had always made it clear that I wanted children and we talked about the name Olivia. He was thrilled about the name and talked about one day calling our future child his little Olive.

Fast forward to me now in my mid 30s, pregnant with my even more amazing husband. He loves the name Olivia too. In fact, both of our families have really latched on to that name.

I know this sounds silly but part of me feels guilt naming our child Olivia. I’m still friends on social media with my ex and my friends continue to spend time with him. I just hate to think he’ll see that I’ve continued with that name and it would hurt him more. My friends say this is ridiculous, why should I worry about how he feels? Regardless, I do worry about his feelings. I worry about everyone’s feelings. I respect him and I’m so thankful for the relationship that I had with him that taught me how to be a better partner to my husband.

So the tentative name is Olivia Rose (my grandmother’s name is Rose Ann). This week I really started liking the name Annie as well. So maybe Olivia Anne and I can call her Annie if I want?

If you’re reading this and willing to respond, let me know if you think I’m being an idiot about those guilty feelings and/or your thoughts on the name ideas. I could really use some unbiased opinions.

Silly Side Note: my Vietnamese mother originally planned on naming me Le Thi Phuong. It sounds like “Lee Typhoon” - imagine the immediate nickname 😂 Luckily at the very last minute the Beatle’s song, “Michelle,” came on the radio so she changed her mind and named me after the song. 😅