I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate you as I should’ve done.

I’m sorry I’m a big disappointment at the moment.

I miss you and I wish you would’ve been here for me, forever, as you promised you’ll be. Unfortunately, you couldn’t really keep your promise because the world decided something else.

You haven’t really been a good person in this life, but you’ve still got your good, sweet moments too and I miss you so much because of them.

I miss driving with you in the car throughout the country, explore every city we could. I miss staying until late night watching tv with you and/or discussing about life and conspiracies. I miss having you, teaching me everything you knew about the world, the people.

You were the only person I’ve ever met to understand me as well as you did. You were the special one, and I didn’t realise it until it was already too late.

Now I have a lot of people that love me and support me, but I’m still alone. I’m still misunderstood. I’m still the only one thinking the way I do. I’m just feeling alone and I feel guilty because of it.

Without you everything seems blank, life has no longer sense, it’s just like a black&white world where nothing is happening and everything is still.

So I keep asking myself, how can such an evil, manipulative person affect me so much? How can I miss you so much, knowing everything you’ve done and said to our family? How can YOU be the only person that could understand me?

I guess I’m just a part of you. Even though you were my stepfather, I’ve grown my whole life with you, you taught me everything I know. So you were the real father. I am you. And now I need you.

I need you to tell me I’m worth it, I need you to tell me how beautiful and smart I am, I need you to just tell me that I’m going to be fine.

Since you’re gone I no longer feel beautiful, everyone gets the chance to just manipulate me and play me like they want. I no longer feel smart and worthy. I feel useless and empty.

I need you, but it’s just too late.

You missed me, I didn’t want to hear about you.

Now you’re gone and I desperately need you...