What do I do ?

So my man I have been ever so happy .

I suffered a stillborn last year and since I haven’t been able to wait to have another baby .

Well today we talked and he told me he wants no more , and that he wants a vasectomy. I broke up with him , I feel so strongly ! But then I went back .... I chose him .

But now I’m still sleeping on the couch (my choice he begged me to come to bed ) because I just want to cry is peace ... I just found out I will never have another baby (I have two daughters )

My kids fathers are absent , never was there for any of it or pregnancy so I was so excited to experience the real feeling of love and creating a family .... so my whole heart just shattered ! My dreams of the happy story - gender reveal happy announcement was just taken from me ..... but I can’t picture my life without him ! So here i am balling on the couch but missing him at the same time . How do I get threw this ?