Rant, sorry

So my boyfriend and I broke up last week and honestly I was feeling so peaceful the last few days, I felt I was doing great and I’d be over it no problem. But today I just kept thinking and for some reason feeling guilty about the break up.

It was bound to happen sometime soon the way things were going, but we were always able to bounce back on good terms. Things were on the negative side, but at the end of the day, I loved him.

I guess I feel guilty cause I know he’s going through some things mentally and with work and I kinda feel like I just abandoned him. I keep telling myself that, I did all I can with all I could to help him and he never seemed satisfied or happy. His negativity from work and friends trickled into our relationship to the point, I felt like I had to be cautious with everything I said or did cause I didn’t know what would set him off into a rant, door slamming, ignoring me and just being angry.

But at the same time he never stopped took a breath and asked what I was thinking, if I had a good day or not. He never pushed his emotions aside and focused on me and my emotions and what was going on In my head. So I don’t get why even now a week after we broke up I’m still concerned about how he feels.

We took a break a year ago, and that hurt me more then this break up, but I guess I’m just realizing that this is final, we aren’t getting back together, I’m having a hard time really moving past that. It doesn’t help that my parents, who loved him keeps thinking he’ll come back, hopefully a changed man.

Sorry guys, I just had to rant a bit. I didn’t want to go to my friends with this cause I feel I annoyed them the whole relationship when I’d complain and ask for advise.