I’m done with it.

Last night was one of the worst nights of my life. I went out with this guy I had had sex with previously and he had always been nagging me to get on birth control because he wanted to finish in me. I wanted to wait to get on birth control until I felt ready and I did so about a week and a half ago I did. Last night he asked me if it was safe and ok if he finished in me I said no multiple times because I was just nervous and I didn’t want him to in general. He did anyways. I feel mad, disgusted with myself that I didn’t give him hell about it. I just sat there why we drove to the store to buy emergency contraceptive. I bought it and he took me home. I showered and cried. I told him no and he did it anyways. I felt like disgusting. I sat there for a bit in the shower then I went to to my room took the pill and fell a sleep. I’m thinking back on it now and I know he did it on purpose. I feel so wronged and mad. I turned 19 yesterday. That was how my birthday ended, me in my bed crying because I was so nervous and upset.