What’s wrong with me? I been trying to move on from the same person for 5 year now and I just can’t.

We dated little over a year. We broke up because I had kids and wanted him to move in and other things but he was t ready. I am 6 years older than him, so it was a lot.

Said he was scared. He has major trust issues. He thinks all women are out to get him and take his money or hurt him.

But I was in love, there’s no one I ever felt this with and it’s never left.

When we interact it’s like we bounce off each other and build this amazing energy.

We get each other and crack up laughing all the time. We laugh and joke a lot.

He would make me so mad by being late for dinner when he said he would be home by a certain time and some how would have my laughing within 10 minutes of being home and then I couldn’t be mad anymore.

I love who he is as a person, he’s very giving and caring. His has the personality that he lights up everyone.

I can watch him from across the room just doing whatever, cooking, singing to him self, talking to his dad.

And I would feel so lucky and blessed.

Anyway, so we split. I dated someone else during a period where we didn’t speak at all.

I was so hurt it ended I had a rebound and we had no contact for a year.

Then we saw each other.

And it was instantly the exact same feeling.

We started sleeping together but he refuses to stay with me or let it lead into anything more.

So I get sad and try to not to do it anymore but always end up doing it cause I miss him.

He’s the only person I want to have sex with... but I hate feeling this way.

Sometimes I feel like he really does love me but he keeps a very level “contact” enough for me to want him but not enough that we’re dating.

We been doing this for 4 years now.

I know I can never have him.

Will I ever be able to get over him?

Obviously if I keep sleeping with him I won’t.

I also keep thinking well I’m single and might as well have fun with someone I like...

I don’t know

I know what I’m doing is not helping me move on.

It’s hard to except that he really will never be with me.