6 weeks & 3 days ~ first pregnancy doubts and fear ~

I am 23, my boyfriend is 24.

I work a close to minimum wage job and up until recently provided for the both of us and our apartment. He doesn’t work, bipolar, low self esteem, no motivation, anxious.

Our landlord lost the property and we were forced to move to family members houses and separate from each other.

So, as of recently, I am living at my aunts and he is at his grandparents, I have our dog, and our car has been in and out of the shop for one month now.

I have credit card debt, not much but it’s a burden, student loans and still going to school online.

Today I found out I am 6 weeks pregnant and 3 days. I used to pray for this day, dream of these moments and wish immensely I’d be blessed with a family, until it happened.

I am now so full of doubt, hesitation, regret, deep sadness, and exhaustion.

He is also super upset, and wants me to abort. He said he feels abnormal and like he will always be a kid or not able to hold down a job and that he is sorry to put me in a position.

He said he feels like terrible for not being what I need and for disappointing me.

With us living apart after six years of living together my stress is immense, without my car my stress is immense, with my debt my stress is immense, with college my stress is immense, with his doubt my stress is immense.

I don’t know what I want. And it’s happening, so I must decide very soon.

I never bought I’d be in this position or that I’d ever be pregnant or that I’d ever be asked to have an abortion and that I’d actually consider it.