Hey everyone.

I’m currently 26 my new fiancé is newly 29 and we’ve been together six years this August. I’ve been playing with this idea for some time now whether or not we should have a baby for our parents. My mom has Lupus, is in remission (actually by now she should be considered a survivor) and now she has an issue with her lungs and has to be on an oxygen machine at night and is on the donor list. My dad seems to be depressed going through a midlife crisis trying to find things to bring his life meaning and he struggles with obesity and has heart disease. My fiancés mom is on a million pills no longer works as a nurse after being attacked and losing a lot of her sight and spends the last two years in bed depressed. Her younger son is having a baby and I see how that has brought such light into her life. ( though they’re being so mean to her and not letting her be involved or even plan them a baby shower and didn’t invite her or his family to the gender reveal) so I’m really considering if having a baby can give my parents a reason to fight for their lives so they can be there for their grandkids lives. It worked with my fathers mother she was sick walking around with an oxygen tank but when I was born she fought seven more years to see me grow. My mom already has two grandkids from my brother who’s 31 (7 Y/O, and 3 month old) but he sets involved with such messy girls that it’s nothing but violence, arguing, not letting us see them, custody issues. So it’s more stress than joy for her. But me and my fiancé are in a loving and committed relationship. The only problem is we’re about to move into our first place this summer are in the midst for new jobs to pay more, about to learn what true adulthood feels like with paying rent and just truly being on our own. So having a kid right now is scary. Like we just got engaged and we are both planners who like to have order. Move our, get married, kids though he doesn’t care about the last two being in order but I do. But now it feels like we want to rush to save our parents because it will ups devastate us if they weren’t around to see our lives unfold and meet their grandchildren. It would devastate us if they never found true happiness and meaning in their lives that’s so full of illness and sadness. I even had a dream last of my father dying and his funeral and it was so heartbreaking and came completely out of the blue. Then I wake up to a post my sister wrote last night about her fears for our parents and losing them before they see our lives unfold and find their own happiness and now I’m thinking is this a sign? We have nothing figured out right now even my mom wants us to be settled first. She is getting excited planning my wedding but is it enough? Life a new life? I just feel bad that it took my fiancé and I so late to get ourselves together and now it feels like our younger siblings and even his parents look to us to save them in a sense. His mom has been asking us for grandkids for 5 years. But now I see the worry in her about finances since she isn’t working nor the son who’s having the baby. I just want to bring them hope and motivation to keep fighting and I’m so sorry it’s taking me so long to give every parents what they want to see their child living a happy life, giving them grandkids, letting them be see us get married, have great jobs. Any advice? Sorry for the long post. So many thoughts and emotions.