In 2016, the day before my birthday I found out I was pregnant with my first. I've always dreamt about being a mommy and was super excited. 5 months later we found out our baby had a very rare condition called encephalocele, which only appears in 1 out 12,000 babies a year. Encephalocele is a birth defect that causes the brain to grow out of the head. We were told things would not be good for the baby or me if we continued the pregnancy. A month later we lost our sweet baby boy, Kaleb. Cut to 2018, I found out I was pregnant AGAIN. Scared, worried, excited, we knew that nothing could ever happen that bad again to us. I made it to 11 weeks, ended up having a miscarriage. My husband and I have been through hell. I have worked on my depression, worked on bettering my mind and body. I've been on birth control for a year now. We want to try again so bad. How do I let the worries go and trust that nothing bad will happen again?