So my partner is emotionally neglectful but I don’t think he notices and I feel like it’s my own fault for not saying more.

People are quick to tell me he isn’t worth my time but I feel like I’m no better in the situation. I really feel like it’s my own fault.

I’ve been with him for 5 1/2 years since I was 14. We’re now about to both turn 20. I love him, I really honestly do with every ounce of my blood. When I turned 16 I became chronically ill and was in and out of hospital (20+ times) and since I was 17 I’ve also been in and out of ICU (13 times now). I have eosinophilic asthma (very severe asthma, uncontrollable with meds).

He rarely visited me in hospital. I can count on both my hands how many times he has come to see me. And it was never just him when he visited because he didn’t want to drive all the way (20/30 minutes).

I know if the roles were reversed I’d be there every minute I’m not working. But I accepted maybe that’s just me? He was brought up very differently, he was always shielded from the worst of things.

Last year I fell pregnant (while on the pill) and I miscarried about a week before Christmas at just over 3 months along. It happened the same day I finally started telling extended family and extended friends. After a couple weeks I had to be hospitalised because I kept losing more blood everyday. I was in hospital for 5 days and had to have a D&C. My partner dropped me off at the hospital with his mother there, but then he didn’t visit me once during that 5 days. I did ask him to visit me. Multiple times. I already have depression which I have meds and therapy for, so the miscarriage was SO F******* DIFFICULT. I still struggle now. He finally turned around and said ‘you’re being f****** stupid about it’ because I wasn’t coping and I just wasn’t in a good place. He said ‘this is why I didn’t want to go through with the pregnancy in the first place.’ (He did tell me he wanted me to terminate when we first found out but I said I just couldn’t, he accepted it and eventually said he was happy.)

I’ve told him for a couple years now that I really can’t handle being alone so much in hospital. He said he’d start coming more often, but he doesn’t. This was a frequent conversation.

I don’t make arguments, we don’t argue about any of it because I just don’t want to cause an issue between us.

He always says sorry for it but it hasn’t really changed anything. I’d understand if he’s had a full time commitment this whole time, but he hasn’t. Since finishing high school, he only just got a job in the past couple weeks. So he’s been doing nothing else for a couple of years. So there isn’t another reason he couldn’t come to visit.

But he obviously does do good things for me as well. We go out for dinner sometimes, we occasionally go out to the movies. He gave me a promise ring because he can’t afford an engagement ring (I don’t expect him to spend big money on one, but he said he wanted to). We have our joined bank account. We have been looking at properties. He’s not otherwise rude or disrespectful to me, ever. He used to have an issue with me going out with my friend (female) to house parties because I had other friends (males) he didn’t like me being around because he didn’t know them. I offered him to come with me to these parties if it’d make him more comfortable, but he isn’t a social person and always said no. I invited these male friends to my 18th so my partner could meet them but he didn’t move from his group of friends. I even ended one of my long-term friendships with a guy who was like a brother to me because my partner was uncomfortable with it. He says he trusts me, but when it comes to the crunch, he’s always so on edge with me around male friends. I’ve never had feelings for another man during this relationship, but I know a few years ago he did have feelings for my closest friend (which he said he doesn’t anymore, and he hasn’t for years now).

I’m so bloody stuck because I love him SO MUCH. I have no friends. I’ve lost contact with everyone else I had. I don’t have female or male friends. All I have is my partner. I’m also scared of having no one, I’m already struggling because I don’t have anyone else.

I’d be so lost without him as well. I don’t know what to do. I honestly am going mad over here because I love him SO much. And I’ve never had someone else love me unconditionally like he does.

I’m so scared, alone, upset. I don’t even know what to do with myself.

Someone explain