How to approach this?

Question

My MIL told my husband she wanted to keep our 7.5 month old son overnight at her house in a few weeks. My mil has a really hyper, somewhat aggressive dog that stays indoors. Her boyfriend also has a really bad drinking problem. He drinks and drives, starts yelling at her when he drinks, etc. My husband told her today that we talked and don’t feel comfortable with him staying the night there due to the dog and her drunk boyfriend. She burst into tears, stated none of her other kids ever had a problem with it, etc and hung up on my husband. He wants me to try to talk to her, but I feel like I should give her time too cool off first. My mil already doesn’t like me. How would you broach this topic? Or would you just let it go?

Answer

I think you’re making a good decision for your child, which is the only thing that matters.  Why does she want to keep the baby overnight?  Can she just come to your house (alone) and watch the baby while you two go to dinner or something?  - I also parent VERY differently and behave very differently than my siblings, so that whole comment that none of her other kids care is totally moot.

Answer

I wouldn’t leave a 7.5 month overnight with anyone even my mother unless it was an emergency. If she wants to see the baby she can sleep over at your house. She obviously doesn’t make good decisions so I understand your concern.

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I do not feel you are wrong in this situation. I don't let my daughter stay the night anywhere, and she's 3.

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I would not let it go. Would u ever tell someone else to leave their child in such situation? Probably not, So why should urs have to endure it? Ur child’s safety is not something that should be compromised. He should try talking to his mother about it at another time. And its not fair of her to compare her children to each other, that the others didn’t mind her dog & drunk bf but he does. Maybe they did mind but just didn’t speak up. I say both of u stick to ur guns. She may not like it, but ur kid, ur rules. once u make exceptions for one thing, u’ll have to make exceptions for everything else cuz you would not have won any “fight” so to speak. Good luck!

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What’s the point of him spending the night? She can get over it. He’s your baby, not hers.

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I would have your husband tell her that we both think he is to young for a over night and wouldn't be comfortable with him staying anywhere without us, I dont want you taking it personal it's just we like him with us at night and when the time comes we'll let you know when it's okay....
My son is almost 2 and the only over night was with the inlaws only because he had to because I was giving birth to his brother. I like him in his bed at home with us. Just have your husband tell her if it makes you feel uncomfortable. You don't have to do anything you dont want to, your the mother.

Answer

I don't understand why he should stay at hers for one night 🤔 it's not her baby. You're in the right here. I hope your husband said it was him as well that didn't want your son to stay with her as well, this is something he should really support you on

Answer

UPDATE:
My husband talked to his mom. She said she feels by us not letting him spend the night, we feel she is an unfit mother/grandmother. Not the case, as my husband explained. He reiterated that we just don’t want our 7.5 month old around her boyfriend or dog. My husband said “Mom, you literally have NOTHING at your house to take care of a 7.5 month old with. We’d have to bring his pack n play, clothes, diapers, bottles, formula, toys, install a car seat in your car, etc for ONE NIGHT.” She then said “Well, I didn’t want to buy any of that if y’all aren’t going to let him spend the night.” Basically, trying to guilt trip us, because he’s 7.5 months now and she’s never mentioned buying ANY of that stuff for her house until today. 🙄 she told us not to worry about it, that she doesn’t want him to spend the night after all because he’s not old enough. 
But then asks if he can spend the night once he’s walking. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Lady, you missed the whole point. Dog...boyfriend....dog...boyfriend. My husband ended it by saying “we’d see” at that time. Basically, still a hell no.
I did tell my husband if she’d like to speak with me, I would be happy to tell her it’s nothing against her—we just don’t condone/agree with her boyfriends lifestyle.

Answer

I would let her chill a minute, but then tell her that my mind is made up.

Answer

Its yalls choice. If she doesnt respect that.. Thats on her.

How to approach this?

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