I’m so frustrated!
I really thought this was my month. After over 3 years of trying and one chemical pregnancy in November, I was convinced that my husband and I had conceived this time. My breasts started to tingle, I believed that I felt implantation, and my RE prescribed me 200 mg of progesterone to take just in case. My period was three days late, and I was planning on taking a pregnancy test this Monday. But! Tonight as I was settling down, I started to feel cramping in my left upper thigh, which is usually a sign that AF is on its way. My breasts while still a little tingly, were noticeably less sore, and appeared less full than they were days prior. I went to lie down on the couch and inserted a progesterone capsule vaginally. I just laid there for at least an hour before getting up to use the bathroom. When I wiped, I saw that the tissue had light pink streaks. I tried to convince myself that it was implantation bleeding (something I’ve never experienced before), but I knew in my heart that it was the start of my period. I feel like throwing in the towel because I’m left disappointed and in tears nearly every time I get a period. And it doesn’t help that two women at my job are pregnant, a girl I follow on social media is currently pregnant with her 9th (yup, her 9th), and I can’t seem to open Instagram without seeing yet another pregnancy announcement. I’m just so done. I know there are others out there who have struggled for longer than three years, but I can’t imagine going through this month after month anymore. I think it’s time to accept the fact that a future pregnancy isn’t in the cards for me.