And it’s started out worse than I thought it ever could. My baby’s father left me to go to his friends house to smoke, left me 20 mins before my birthday now it’s almost 2 hours into the day. MY DAY, and he isn’t home and isn’t planning on coming home to spend it with me. He isn’t worried bout my feelings, making me feel special, or treating me the way I deserve to be treated. Everyday is basically like this but for some reason; even after 5 years of dealing with this I thought maybe he could give me 1 day to feel perfect, to be his #1. But I see now that no matter what day it is, what I do to try and make him happy, how much i bite my tongue to stop an argument.. he always gonna act like a child. He’s never gonna grow. Not for me. He can let his friends talk shit to me and stand there in silence. He can put his hands on me and brag to his friends like I’m a dog he is training. He’s found a way to make me feel completely stupid for 365 days a year for 5 years now. Even me having his first daughter and pregnant w our first son... I’m still not going to be respected. I need respect and I’ve lost myself trying to keep our “relationship” yeah I said it like that bc if he seen us together as a team he wouldn’t be playing against me. We aren’t not a team. We are parents. I’m hurt bc I see how he doesn’t care. I’m hurt bc I stayed this long and I only caused pain on myself. It’s my birthday today and my gift to myself is to find away to get away. Start over. Hopefully I can convince myself that this is to many years putting up with this. I am important and I deserve to get treated like a decent human being...