Feeling like I failed

Tiegen

I was induced 2 days after my due date. Things progressed rapidly and I had my daughter via c-section in about 14 hours after. Once things started progressing it felt like I lost control of body completely. I couldn't function at all. When it came time to push I was fading in and out of consciousness. I pushed and gave it everything I had and had my little girl moving but then progress stopped. The nursing team and my doctor had me rest for awhile bur I already knew I was done. I couldn't do it, I had already pushed my body to the point of exhaustion and with as little control as I had over my body at this point I knew it wasn't going to happen. I begged for help, for anything, and finally begged for the c-section. They kept pushing me to push some more but when I went to try its like my body forgot how. I tried and I couldn't even do it I couldn't control my body enough to push. I feel like I failed everyone even though they all say they understood when she came out. She was 22 inches long and 8 pounds 11 ounces and absolutely perfect of course. She's my first and when they finally got her out they decided c-section was probably the best route even though they had pushed so hard for natural birth. I still feel like I should have been able to do it and it breaks my heart that I couldn't. I just keep telling myself that I know my body better rhan anyone else and I made the right decision for me and for my daughter. But it still gets to me. It's only been 5 days and I know things will look up soon but I just had to get it out.