Birth story 4/4/19 (Traumatic sorry!)

My traumatic birth story. So ladies forgive me. I am still recovering and I know you love pictures but perhaps later I could add those. I just need this off of my chest. And maybe to hear others stories.

I remember reading a long while back about severe itching from a few moms on here. One in particular a woman was saying another woman pretty much saved her because of her being informative about it. Well 38 weeks and such I had itching here and there even at 37 weeks. But 38 weeks it flared to life. My feet and hands were itchy and then my whole body. I was so uncomfortable and near tears trying to scratch my damn flesh off. They sent me for tests of course and indeed my levels were elevated. They call me after dropping my daughter off at daycare on 4/3/19 to come in to be induced at noon. Im a mess of course. Everythings going not as I imagined but I am trying to take it in stride. I get to the hospital and of course I am trying to have a good attitude. I am talking, (more like babbling my nerves), smiling, trying to joke. Well i am told I am 3cm dilated but 70 effaced and -2,so I was excited. Progress right? Well things get started and I get stuck at 5cm for a while.

One nurse checking me is rough but super nice, then a doctor comes in way later and he is instantly not on my good list. (I had to wait a long time to pop my waters because I had too much. They were worried my umbilical cord would fall out, so we waited on little man to drop. )He keeps ramming his hand up there and claiming he can’t pop my waters and there are no membranes. The nurse is looking on disturbed and as he leaves after being bossy and ignorant she is cleaning me and saying what does he mean no membranes? My husband this whole time is trying to be a champ. He is not happy to see me in so much pain and obviously does not care for him any time soon.

I get an epidural around 6cm (I had to have him fix it- I still don’t think it was right what-so-ever) and finally another super happy doctor comes in and on the first try she breaks my waters. I feel things stirring and I am trying to work through them. Thursday rolls around and I am hoping he comes eventually. My pain keeps slowly ramming upward and I am trying so hard all morning. I do try pushing my little boy but all i can push out is number two and my little man was stuck really good on my right pelvic bone.

This is when everything starts to go badly. My pain keeps rising and rising. My body is stuck pushing itself during contractions and my pain meds aren’t doing a damn thing. I was so exhausted and scaling my contractions to 60, then 70, some hitting 80.

The next thing I know I am in severe pain. My contractions were going over 124. I was pleading, begging doctors to give me a c-section. I was telling them my body can not do this anymore. I wasn’t making it up. I needed help. I was scaling i think 127 from the last one I saw. After that I became an animal.

I was hooked to twenty cords, I had a catheter, I was trembling and my pain was elevating even when it didn’t show a contraction. Apparently my blood pressure was low and my heart was all over the place. I was begging my husband for a bucket of ice. I was soaked to the bone with many cloths all over me. I even ripped my catheter out at some point. I was tossing myself around. I even apparently bit my husband and gripped his hoodie begging him to make it stop.

Ladies, I can’t even tell this without starting to cry. Apparently a few of my actions possibly saved my life. I was holding out through all of this pain and a wonderful doctor swept in, tried to turn him only once- looked at my face and said emergency csection. I had to wait for the room to be cleaned. It was absolute torture! My husband was over-hearing things about me and how they pushed four people aside for me. Finally they roll me down to the room. I am panting and sobbing so hard. I can’t even breathe.

The one awesome nurse who has been helping me this whole time is allowing me to hold her while I roll through another contraction. I used up all I could in epidurals (they did nothing), and so spinal tap and morphine it was. My husband was out there waiting an agonizing 40 minutes as they place the spinal and get me strapped in place. I am asking for him.

My mouths so dry due to no water or food diet. I am whispering out of it but aware.

He comes in and they already had started working. All he can tell me is my blood was everywhere. Something popped and it was just crazy. All this time he is watching my heart monitor unsteadily flowing. I finally hear them take him out and he cries. I cry and a nurse brings him to me. Suddenly I am feeling so sick and i beg her to take him to dad because I don’t want to puke on my son.

They go to the other room and they are patching me up. I beg the nurse not to leave me and puke up the stuff they gave me to not puke. Finally I make it through. I am thanking them. I go back to recovery for two hours then back to the labor ward. I am stuck on magnesium for 24 hours. I ate a lot of ice and water after the procedure.

What I had come to find and still learning is I almost lost my life. I developed Choleostasis and Pre-eclampsia. I was at high risk for seizures and my blood pressures were still all over and I lost a lot of blood.

After all of this I then notice at some point my back is soaked. I am thinking Its all just sweat and the magnesium. I was leaking fluid through my spinal tap hole and they had to keep checking me to make sure it was safe. In the end they said it was just all the meds stuck in my body pushing out of that hole. I had so many people following me and helping me through the process.

In some areas some of the providers really sucked and some of them were amazing people. I am thankful to be home but I am still adjusting. I am super fearful of hurting any of my stitches and I am just anxious now to begin with. All I can pray is that my body heals and I will be ok. If you read all of this I appreciate it. I know it’s long. I just want to be OK and I hope I am. I also hope this helps someone else and forgive me because I left out a lot. Best wishes to all the new mommas out there- super blessed to have my little man! Everything else was nuts but at the end of it all I have my rainbow during any storm. 💙❤️