Planning a wedding—would rather elope

So my fiancé and I are in the middle of planning our wedding and I’m kinda getting stressed out. This will be my second marriage. My first one was justice of the peace, no biggie super easy in and out and done. This time my fiancé wants to give me the wedding I deserve. To be perfectly honest, I would rather go off somewhere just me and him and get married, have a honeymoon and come back and have a big party at our camp ground with all our friends and family. When I get stressed out that’s what I keep telling him, and he just keeps saying “no, no, no. I’m gonna give you the wedding you deserve.” This August I have to go TRY to reserve our hall—that’s a long story of its own. The short version of someone else wants the hall on that date the hold a raffle. We both agreed that if we don’t get the hall, we’ll do something different; small. Just the two of us. WHY CANT WE DO THAT?!? Why are we waiting to see if we get the hall or not? 😩😩😩

Is it bad that I secretly hope we don’t get it? I don’t need a big wedding. I just want us together, exchanging vows and starting our new lives together as husband and wife. 😢