Recently, I had a huge setback in regards to my anxiety and depression (which had been so well-controlled for several years)... it was so bad that I’m currently out of work and getting the help I need. But the reminder that it’s always going to be a part of me and can sneak up on me at anytime... well, that’s just terrifying to me. We’d been ttc our first for almost a year and were just about to start <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a>, which we obviously put on hold when I had my meltdown. But I can’t even imagine going through this while pregnant, or with a child/children. I’m already almost 32 and hubby is almost 39. Although it was something I thought I wanted so bad, I think I’ve decided I was not cut out to be a mother. My heart aches as I admit it. I thought I was healed because I had so many wonderful years, but this past few weeks have been the darkest reminder that I’m not and I never will be- it will always be there somewhere. Has anyone ever desperately ttc and then decided not to have children because of their anxiety/depression?