So I feel like I’m never going to find love in general. But now having a baby is going to make it so much worse. I already have an excruciatingly crazy amount of trouble trying to find relationships now bc I’m so closed off and a cold hearted bitch. I like to fuck and leave and sometimes I try to not do that but I lose all interest after I fuck, and I’m scared if I wait for the sex and then finally have it even if I’m in love I’ll lose the feeling, plus I have no idea who would fall in love w me that I would feel the same way about. The baby daddy already wants me to be his family BUT I DONT LIKE HIM he was just some really good dick which turned average after a while and now I’m stuck with a kid. I don’t love ppl the way you’re supposed to. I don’t love family sometimes barely friends, I’m not passionate about anything, I’ve never cried at funerals, I don’t miss any of my crazy ass blood family, I was given into the system as a kid and it’s hard to differentiate love from tolerance,!or toxic love at that, and I just don’t know if I’m going to find that. Truth is under this hard exterior I’m a hopeless romantic who’s seen all the films about love and still I can’t figure out how to do that. Maybe I’m just hopeless