I’m 15 years old and I lost my virginity to my ex boyfriend who’s 17 back in early March. ( We didn’t use a condom) which made me feel even worse after we were finish. And I asked him what did we just do... and we just sat there. I decided to walk myself back home and go upstairs and just pray... and pray and pray I felt awful because God and my ex knew how much I valued having my virginity. And it made me so so so upset that my bf lured me into doing it saying the things I want to hear and I was depressed so I wanted to feel wanted and needed which he did make me feel that way.

After that a domino affect of bad things began happening to me. And I thought it was God punishing me for not keeping my virginity a month later I began having terrible pelvic pain and pain when I pee ( NOT BURNING PEE) It was a uncomfortable feeling. I eventually told my mom she was very disappointed which made me STILL THINK God was punishing me.

So I decided to make a pledge to myself I will never have sex UNTIL I AM MARRIED ... A RING ON MY FINGER. And I would like a promise ring as well for myself to remind me. But I’m just scared ( I’m not with anyone) because I decided not to date anyone until my mental health is good and that I love myself fully. I would like to date a young man who’s close to God just like me who isn’t afraid to pray and ask God things. I don’t want to date then they dump me or loose interest in me because I don’t want to have oral or vaginal sex until im married.

I really needed to get this out.