Insecurities and issues with porn (long post sorry!)

I know a lot of people on here like porn and get all offended any time people make posts about not liking porn or not wanting their partner to watch porn. I get it. I literally wish I could just be a normal person and not give a shit about porn, but I do. Here is my issue, or one of them. Like how is it that I’m the bad guy for feeling insecure and not being chill about my bf wanting to look at other girls that have better features then me, but like he totally has moments of insecurity about his body during sex with me. Like how is that different? Why is he allowed to feel insecure with me, but I’m not allowed to feel like shit that he likes looking at girls who have better looking bodies than me? And like I do think I have a nice body, but I’m very petite and it’s always been something that makes me feel insecure. And like I’ve tried making myself okay with porn, I just can’t do it. Like I can feel super cute and really good about myself, but like I never feel insecure when we’re having sex, the only that makes me insecure is the fact that I’m super small and still have stretch marks meanwhile there are super curvy women who have none! Idk it’s just irritating that like as women we’re told we are pretty much dumb for feeling insecure about porn, but like tons of guys are insecure about themselves and just don’t talk about it and probably wouldn’t appreciate it if we were just always wanting to look at guys who were better looking than them. Like what would the point of being together be? We had a very long conversation about this and he totally understood and respected my point and has promised he’ll truly work on this and knows that this is the last straw and that I’m tired of talking about this and having anxiety about it. I told him to either break up me if he decides he can’t stop or I will because I’m tired of being told he’s not looking at it anymore and being straight up lied to. This is my exact issue with porn. Now my challenge is just forgiving him and forgetting and moving on and forward in our relationship. We also discussed starting to send nudes to each other, so that’s something that like I’m kinda excited about, but scared at the same time. It’s just going to take some time. I just can’t keep going on like this, especially since we’ve started talking about moving in together and marriage. I can’t take those kinds of steps without the trust and respect and I obviously shouldn’t, I’m just tired of feeling like invalid of me feelings and I guess I’m just looking for some insight and advice and positive vibes/words of wisdom.

I’d also like to add that I’ve never actually like caught him masturbating to porn, but he has reddit and there is just a lot of porn on there just like randomly and I just would get anxiety when he’d be on the app next to me because that’s his favorite form of social media. Also, he is my first actual boyfriend and nobody talked about porn around me or made me think they’re we’re looking at it until him even though I’m sure they were. He was single for like 4 years when we met and was following like a ton of porn stars and cam girls and stuff on Instagram and poem sub Reddits and at first he would show me posts he thought were funny and my mistake was just rolling my eyes and making him scroll past, but I was young and I didn’t really realize how I felt about it because I’d never watched it or been exposed to it(other than when I was like 11 and opened my dad’s laptop and a porn site was on it) I’ve never said anything to my parents about that. I just closed it out and tried to block it out.