I am currently not a stay at home mom. I work in the arts as a professional dancer and was able to take a wonderful five months off from my job postpartum. This is probably obvious but being in the career field I’m in, I am not the breadwinner of the family. However my career has always been my passion so the idea of returning to work just seemed natural. My son is six months old and I have been back at my job for four weeks. I get to take my son with me which is incredible and the company I work for is beyond supportive. They help playing with him if I’m busy and have no issue with me stepping aside to breastfeed or just soothe him.

It is beyond ideal.

But I hate it.

I feel like I don’t get to really experience being with my son, which sounds so petty because I get to be with him daily (more than most moms). I feel like I have to pacify him at work when all I want to do is watch him and engage with him. I spend my day off (Saturday) enjoying every moment but the second Saturday evening comes around I’m angry. I have no patience with my son and I feel all sorts of adrenaline at the idea of having to return to work. I think I have already made up my mind that I will not be returning to work after my current contractual obligation is fulfilled but I need some support that this is the right choice. It’s a job I fought my whole life for. Giving it up now would mean likely giving it up for good (given my age). I know my son and my growing family is worth it but if anybody could shout out some personal anecdotes or love my way, I would really appreciate it.

Thanks beautiful mamas. You are all doing an incredible job.