Just a vent
So I work at Casey's (it's only until the end of my pregnancy or when I'm told by OB that I can't work) and my man wanted food, so I said I'll happily get him food from Casey's. He wanted 3 items, and once I clocked out, I went home and got his card (it has both of our money on it) and went back(he had just gotten out of shower and so I assumed he didn't want to go) and its a 6 min drive to it
They only have popcorn chicken and chicken fritter and pizza bites.. Yes I was in a little hurry.. I get the "mission" in my head and I go a little simple focus.. So I simply got a chicken fritter and 2 popcorn chicken (and a drink for him) and went home..
And all hell broke loose cause I did the worst thing known to man.. Should have used my brain and got 1 item instead.. Should have called.. He should have went up instead.. I don't appericate him (I just said I felt unappreciated) because I can't even use my brain..
He just gets mad really quick.. He never stops to think "maybe I'll handle this calmly" I mean I already feel really bad when I mess up.. But because I said the "I don't feel appericated part that sent him off on a long rant about what I described above.. And I told him I got it, I understood so please stop, and he wouldn't because he said if I understood then why didn't I think and such..
I am a simple person sometimes.. I realize that, I get like I said the "mission" in my head and I don't use logial to complete it.. I realized I messed up.. I just wanted to make him happy, and I didn't think it through..
This post isn't to bash him or make me out to seem like a victim.. Its simply to vent cause I'm very sad.. And even at my age (21) I don't handle releasing my sadness well.. Cause he hates when I cry cause I'm playing the victim then.. But crying is how I release my sadness instead of self-harming (or hitting myself.. cause I'm an idiot) like I'm a teen again.. I'm not asking to be told to break up with him or anything, I'm pregnant and I could only go back to my parents and I rather eat an opossum then do that.. And he's not all bad, I'm equally as sh*tty..
I also can envision how I wished the conversation would have went:
"Oh, you brought 3 of chicken items.. I mean you tried, but I wish you would have taken the time to call me and tell me what there was, or waited and I could have came with.. But I mean you did try and I appreciate you still" and I would have apologized a lot (I mean I feel terrible) and just him not being shitty and mad would have been very nice