Am I pregnant or my MOTHER?!

My mother deep down knows I could care less for her. Both my sisters moved out when they were 18 and I followed in their foot steps.

When I was 19 I enlisted in the Navy and left. I call my mother only when my step father guilt trips me usually. I usually call for something random like “how to do cook this?” Know I could google it but it makes her seem useful to me. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Anyways, I got married December of 2017 to my wonderful husband who’s also Active Duty. I didn’t even care enough to tell my parents. I just kinda showed up home and was like, “I’m married”.

Fast forward to a year and a half later and I’m 4 1/2 months pregnant with our daughter. My husband just left for deployment about 3 weeks ago and will return 4 weeks after our daughter is born.

Currently I’m stationed in California and my family is all the way in Michigan, just the way I want it.

My husband and I are very financially secure and have purchased everything our daughter could need practically. I did not want to have a baby shower because when I did, my mother threw a fit that my BEST FRIEND was hosting it in her back yard. To keep me from getting a headache, I said I’d make an online regristry for little things but I’m over it.

I’ve given this online regristry to my mother and she seems to thinks he can buy whatever she wants. She says things like “you’re not going to come in between the relationship of me and my granddaughter” or “I’m doing this or I’m doing that”.

Anyone in my family knows why I joined the military and moved so far away. My family life is toxic. My mother was not a good mother to me and I don’t want my daughter to experience what I went through.

As we approach the half way mark, I’m starting to wonder who will be in the room with me when I deliver. Since my husband will be deployed, I feel like I’m in a bind. If he were here, I would allow no one to take a flight to Cali to see her until about 2 weeks has passed and my husband could bond with her before he had to return to work.

Part of me feels guilty not wanting my mother there. Part of me doesn’t care. My mother TRIED to book a flight to live with me for 6 moths.... WHAT THE FUCK. (I’m sorry but that’s literally what I said) I kindly told her that her limit is 1 month and that she WILL stay in a hotel.

My reasoning is, we don’t have a second bedroom. And I’m not the kind of person that can tolerate anyone in my space for long periods, before i shore signs of annoyance. Also, with my husbands homecoming being about 4 weeks out from my due date, NO ONE but his immediate family will be here, also in a hotel.

But of course, she doesn’t agree. I’m just OVER IT.

I told her she will not ruin his homecoming and his first time meeting his daughter, because at the end of the day the only thing that matters to me is my husband gets to bond with his daughter AND be with his family after being over seas for 7 months. SHE is not the center of attention, this isn’t her damn kid and she can’t redo motherhood because she spent her time dropping myself and my sister off at our grandmothers while she went on vacations, bought expensive things and then made excuse after excuse as to why she wasn’t there for birthdays, Christmas or etc.

Alright I’m done. Just needed to vent 😅